Let Them Sing Love Songs

I was slapped across the face the other day. Not literally, but I believe the impact of a friend's words hurt more than her hand would have. Here are her painful words: "I remember when you were a poetic, romantic, love-loving girl; lately, you've been sounding like a jerky teenage boyfriend." The sad part is, I knew this was true for it was intentional. I love being a girl; but there are things that come with having two X chromosomes that I don't like. And I find most of these things are a part of relationships with the people around us.

1) I hate being vulnerable. (That "Publish Post" button is looking very daunting and orange right about now.) The possibility of heartache and break over shadows the pros that come with talking to someone deeply for me. I often find it easier to be sarcastic. I don't like trusting people. It's so bad that I yell at my iPod when male lead singers "try to serenade me" with their songs and acoustic strumming. I get discussed because I assume that I'm being lied to. (Now, I know they're not really singing to me, but just let me have this one.)

2) I detest crying. And girls do it. A lot. (No matter how many times I tell myself that I don't have hormones, they still seem to show up.) My policy? If no one saw it, it didn't happen.

3) I don't like wanting to be loved. I wish I didn't care that much. I wish I didn't worry that my feelings, with everyone I come across, would be returned to me. My "jerky boyfriend" self lets it roll off my back, telling myself that I don't care how people think of me, and I'm not romantic whatsoever.

But then the other day... I heard the most beautiful, romantic song on the radio the other day. I bought it and listened to it 2432354257925 times. And I remembered that I love love songs.

That's when I realized something I read a while ago in the book Captivating. God sends us messages about who He is through men and women (Genesis 5:1), and the message we receive through my sisters and me is quite incredible. The vulnerability, emotion, and romance that I try to suppress are all parts of who Jesus is. I thought it was all weakness, but it's a glory that reflects the heart of God. Women want to be desired because God wants to be desired! There is nothing more vulnerable and emotional and romantic than when my God left the Heavens to our broken world, let Himself be hung on a cross for all to see, and still to this day asking me to love Him on a daily basis in return. (1Tim 2:3&4)

On that note, I'm off to sing my new favorite mushy-gushy, nauseatingly romantic song. (:

The Fruits # 4: Love

This afternoon, I took some time to read through letters I wrote six years ago to my husband. A lot of things ran through me as I read those letters. Some of them were funny, didn't make sense, or were beyond cheesy. But sometimes, I would be surprised by my ten year old self. I would read something that stopped me in my tracks and I would need to take a second and re-read it. I was evidently in love with this man that I still haven't met.

Little girls imagine their husbands as one man short of Jesus. Surely he will be handsome, strong, talented, romantic, a leader, 100% dependable, funny, and the bestest best pal. We imagine him with a glow around his body, jealously fighting thousands for our affection. There is no greater dream than to find him and have him fall in love with us, and to spend our days loving him back.

I realized today that those little starry-eyed girls turn into teenage girls. And suddenly our future husbands look different. Our hormones often lead to heartache, and heartache leads to the destruction of the picture of our perfect men and that perfect love. We lose faith in the man we've been waiting for, and to some the idea of living to love him is no longer our such an ambition.

What is love? People seem to be all over the place on this. Thankfully, our Father who thinks of everything wrote the answer as clear as day saying, "This is how we know know what love is: Jesus laid down His life for us" (1 John 3:16). Basically, if you would lay down your life for someone, the odds are you love them. That should be how we determined such a thing. I'm a big believer in the saying "Love isn't a feeling, it's a choice". My professor last year tried to convince me that love wasn't real, but a blend of smells and chemical reactions. I'm no chemist, so I don't know much. But I do know that that feeling or reaction is what I like to call attraction, not love. I do know that that assumption on feelings is the reason why over half of U.S. marriages fail. I do know that I wouldn't be able to stay with a man for ever based off a happening of "chemical reactions".

For those girls wondering if love can be done, there's a second part to that verse I shared earlier, "And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters" (1John 3: 16). This is where I started to stumble. Because it's difficult. It's easy for me to say and honestly mean that I love someone, but acting like it is a challenge for me with my family and friends and fellow believers. What do we do that goes beyond what the 50% of Americans divorcees had done? We strive. We work. And we persist -- as Jesus did. We stop giving people pieces of our minds and more pieces of our hearts. We wake up every morning choosing to find ways to make each other feel loved. We have to love, it's a command -- so I vote we do it with stars in our eyes, just like when we were little girls.

“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.” - Noelle, age 6

“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” - Jessica, age 8

The Fruits # 2: Joy

I was sitting in my Modern American Literature class today. I was tired, my professor was cranky, and the guy behind me had a cough. The phrase "I hate Mondays" was beginning to get a whole new meaning. That's when a girl Anna, whom I had in my speech class last semester and who I know is firm Christian, walked in and sat down. I watched her as she reached down to take her books out of her bag. Strangely, from where I was sitting it looked like she was grinning. It was annoying. It was an early, dumb Monday morning -- what did she have to smile about?

That's when God said (probably after hitting me upside the head, if He was here) "You best be workin' on your joyfulness, girl." Maybe He didn't say it just like that, but it was close. I've never been good at choosing joy. Looking beyond the circumstance isn't my forte. After that moment of deciding to work on my joyfulness though, my whole day turned around. April 5, 2011 had many things to be joyful about:

1) I'm joyful because the Lord is using me for His purposes in multiple ministries.

2) I'm joyful because even though I don't like the house that my parents just bought, it will go far beyond keeping us safe and warm.

3) I'm joyful to be able to learn to play instruments.

4) I'm joyful that God gave us His word and my ability to read it.

5) I'm joyful to have my newest favorite shirt.

6) I'm joyful to have such a beauitful church family.

7) I'm joyful to have made plans with friends next Monday.

8) I'm joyful that Jesus loves me far more that I can fathom.

9) I'm joyful that I have eternal life with Jesus and my brothers and sisters.

10) I'm joyful to serve a God whom within joy can always be found.

The Fruits: Patience

I used to avoid that part of Galations, where Paul write about the Fruits of the Spirit. Now, I love fruit -- it's my favorite food! But these fruits I hindered away from. Galations 5:22 & 23 was a no-go zone for Elisabeth.

Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self-Control.

Sure love, joy, peace -- it all sounds nice. But I knew that I could never live out those fruits as they are meant to be lived out. It was on my birthday four months ago, however, that when needing encouragement, my Pastor lovingly reminded me of the fruits in a Facebook message. I haven't stopped thinking about the nine words since. God has relentlessly put them on my heart. So, I decided to focus on one fruit a day and work on living it out.

Naturally, I thought I would start with Love, seeing as it is the first one listed. Today, however, I was at a paint store with my mom and she asked me to put a paint sample back. As I walked to the wall covered in colored paper squares, I looked at the sample and you know what it was called? Patience. Well, God, I appreciate Your bluntness, was what I prayed right then and there. So, the King had spoken. April 3rd 2011 was a day of patience for me.

It was difficult, but the Lord always provided me with the ability to show proper patience when I called on Him. Oh boy, I failed often too. But I feel so blessed to have learned what I have learned and to have felt what I have felt. My sister decided to obnoxiously communicate with friends of mine multiple times at church today, and -- through the power of Jesus Christ alone, I assure you -- I resisted the urge to yell at her. And, what do you know, it felt really good to not be mad at her. Also today, a prayer I've been praying for months now has been answered. You know that's one of the best feelings! Waiting upon the Lord does do wonders.

Abiding in Him as filled me with so much praise. I look forward to tomorrow's fruit!

Where the True Joy Flows From

Have you ever had that feeling of being wrapped in the arms of someone you love; and love and happiness fills up to your heart's rim, and you just want to melt?

Well, I'm 16, so I'm gonna go ahead and say that I haven't. But that is how I feel in Haiti. I was sitting in Heartline's guest house near Port au Prince in a rocking chair last Wednesday, and upon resting my head back I sighed a sigh of contentment. Ironic, isn't it? Comparing love and comfort to brutal Haiti. But that's how you feel when you are where you belong.

I realized how odd my romantic parallel was when I wrote it in my journal that day, so I began to wonder why exactly so I love this place so much, why do I feel the most complete and free in Haiti?

That's when the understanding poured in. Everyone in Haiti (to some extent) was like me, and I like them. We were all here -- coated in dirt, sweat, and stubbly hair -- for the same purpose. We, willing to trade in our comfort at home, had a similar heart and a united purpose: to follow God, at all costs. I find that the people who have given up everything to radically follow Jesus are my favorite kind of people.

Today was my first day back at school since the trip. I dreaded it. The thought of seeing those college students, most of them not Christians --not to mention not pursuing Jesus' call -- brought deep sadness. I wanted my on-fire-willing-to-serve missionary friends back! In America there are so many distractions: TV, Internet, media, consumer purchasing, materialistic spending, worrying about physical appearance, school and work stress -- it is being put before serving God. How do I know? Because I do it! ...And I hate it, but I still do it. It still happens because it's hard to prevent. In Haiti, I'm around many people who are only living their days to serve God through serving others. They don't watch TV, spend money (because they probably don't have much), or frantically try to cover up every physical flaw -- because it just doesn't matter in the light of serving Jesus.

When you really are living on the grace of the Lord, you will feel overwhelming love and you will feel exciting contentment. After all, I am in love with the Man who said, " a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his posessions . . . But seek His kingdom and these things [food, clothes, safety, happiness] will be given to you as well" (Luke 12: 15 & 31).

Letting Go

I was sitting in Mother Terea's Orphanage and Hospital for the Sick and Dying in Haiti a couple days ago, holding a baby boy who came to me wet. The room I was in was dark due to the lack of windows and electricity, and the crying of babies and desperate-to-comfort voices was all the filled the building audibly. As I sat on the bench, wondering what exactly caused this child's clothes to feel moist, I felt love tie a rope around my heart. In the heat, unescapable smells, and dire cries, I realized I wouldn't want to be anywhere else at that moment.

I came to the realization that nothing was more important. Holding that beautiful, skeleton-shaped baby was the most crucial thing I could have been doing. That's when I began thinking about people at home, what would they think? Why aren't there more people going into the nations? What could they choose over wanting to feel this love? Money, American houses, fast cars, security, safety? Those things sounded nice. They sounded comfortable. But with that baby in my arms, I knew that those things equated to nothing because of one simple fact: this is what Jesus did His whole life, letting every worldly thing go and living to love others.

I haven't accomplished that goal. I'm embarrassed by how selfish I am actually. But I pray often that my life will always be transforming to something more like Jesus'. That's why I can confidently tell others I would sing praises if God leads me to living in Haiti one day. It will not always be fun, or easy. I most likely will feel overwhelmed, lonely, amongst many other things -- I know this fully. However, nothing would make my soul sing more to live every moment of every day doing the most important thing in life, counting all else at a loss, and trying to love as Jesus loved.

What No One Has Ever Told You About Sex

No one ever straight up told me that I shouldn't have sex. It's a conclusion that I drew up before I was even a teenager. At thirteen I started wearing a ring and told Jesus I was His alone until my wedding night. Because my decision for purity was done so early on in my life, at sixteen I was left wondering much. Why does God want us to wait for marriage to have sex? Why does sex make things everything complicated? Why does it hurt outside of marriage? Why does it inevitably emotionally connect people like it does? I wanted answers. And you might too.

I probably have family and friends shaking in their boots right now wondering what the heck Elisabeth is going publicly to say about sex. I bought a book the other day called "What are You Waiting For?: The one thing no one ever tells you about sex" by Dannah Gresh. While I am reading this book, I will come here to share my findings and share my excitment towards answers about sex - the real kind.

I often read that verse in Genesis, "Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant," and thought "Okay, he was SO NOT just laying there." In Dannah's research for her book, she whipped out her Hebrew dictionary and looked up the Hebrew word for sex. The word was yada. This is were things only START to get interesting. What's the Hebrew definition for yada?

Yada

verb. to know, to be known, to be deeply respected

It is also used in verses like these, not just in sex scenarios:

17 And the LORD said to Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know [yada] you by name.” Exodus 33:17

10 He says, “Be still, and know [yada] that I am God Psalm 46:10

Amazingly, I think the first part of the definition is for women, the second for men. Dannah shares, "Almost every female I've spoken to about this admits that she really isn't yearning for physical touch in her sexual encounters, but is seeking deep emotional caressing. " Women like when when men know them. Beyond what color their eyes are or their favoroite ice cream flavor. They long for something deeper.

"The latter definition of yada - respect - tends to resonate with men. They want to know they have what it takes to receive your admiration," states Gresh. Are you surprised that God would design something so perfect and filling for both the man and woman? I'm not, and I'm overjoyed. Yada is obviously not just a physical act, but something that transcends the physical. At least, that's what sex is supposed to be.

Due to our unfortunate sin, there is another Hebrew word for sex used throughout the Bible. Shakab. This is only used in the Bible when sex is abused, for example in Genesis 19:33 when Lot's daughter gets him drunk and.. "lays" with him. This is not yada. Shakab is defined as (paraphrased) "the exchange of bodily fluids". Yeah, this doesn't sound as fun to me, and it is most definitely not God's sex.

Within yada two people can have total trust, transparency, devotion, and respect. I don't know about you, but when I have sex that's the kind that I want. Why does sex intertwine souls like it does? Come back in exactly a week for some more answers. (: