Guest Author for Proverbs 31 Ministries!

Today, I have the amazing opportunity to be the guest author on Proverb 31 Ministry's Lynn Cowell's blog and YOU have the exciting opportunity to win a free copy of my book Putting Fairy Tales to Shame! 

Lynn loves helping women grow into wise moms so that they can grow wiser daughters. This post I wrote on Lynn's blog is geared toward moms -- so don't miss it! Learn how to unveil the definition of Real Love to your daughter! 

Ready? Go here to check it out!

Trades of Hope Styleboards

I made these styleboards for Trades of Hope, a company I co-founded that is creating sustainable businesses for families around the world! My favorite part about it all (in addition to our beautiful accessories!) is that everyone at Trades of Hope is showing Real Love to women around the world!

No Love for Me, No Love for You

It's really hard to re-invent yourself.

For some reason, the notes sung off key are better remembered than those sung correctly.

And that causes a problem for Disciples who walk through the refining fire to be sanctified.

We see reality, truth, and other people through our own emotional lenses -- and that makes it very difficult to fulfill the call in 2 Corinthians, "regard no one according to the flesh".

Is the emotionally-wild girl, who quiets herself before her Lord to learn gentleness and self control, still an immature psycho? Even though her God-given emotions are being abused by her imprisoning flesh and destructive enemy, is she still a lost cause? Or is she not a woman for acknowledging her sin and willing to walk through the valley to change her heart?

How many days clean must an addict be before she has open arms extended to her? How many "I love you's" must the unfaithful whisper before a marriage is restored?

God knows the heart's yearning and progress and growth. He makes the creation new. He makes the old melt away.

I am at fault.
I have regarded some according to their flesh, because their flesh hurt me and they didn't deserve it to be over looked.

But "love in response to goodness isn't love, but simply a reward... and our relationship with God is not a matter of reward, but of love."

He re-invents me. And it doesn't take time, failures, and then more time with fewer failures for Him to see the newness. He knows me. He is the only one who sees me when I pray. He is the only one who feels my self-condemnation when I mess up. He is the only one who sees me for my soul and not my flesh.

After the bark-wood, the salty beads on His forehead, the inclined trudge, the weight, the pounding of nails -- somehow, to you, I am still regarded as the crazy girl. And you, well, I regard you as the one who hurts me. So, no love for me and no love for you.

But He doesn't see what we see. I am the creation of a fearful, wonderful woman. I am the creation of beauty, purposeful emotion, and fearlessness. (I didn't lose my humility. Humility is knowing who you are and feeling comfortable with it -- not denying your God-glorifying identity and gifts. Humility is always measuring yourself by the Infinite.) And you, you are priceless, to die for, made in strength, boldness; a masterpiece, an heir to the Heavenly realm.

I don't know if I know you. I don't know if you go to my church. I don't know if you are a man or woman. But I do know you have an infinite soul defined by God's love, acceptance, and the great value He placed on you.
And from here on, I will regard you in that way.

quote above from Steve Brown

Where the Searching Ends

It was just a whisper blown against my heart. An idea. More like a thought. It was about a month ago. God told me while I was meeting with another friend that He thought I would enjoy it if I read through Song of Solomon and wrote down everything that He claimed about me. My friend and I had been meeting and discussing Jesus' love for us, and growing in our ability to make Him feel our love towards Him. His love enables me to love, most importantly to love Him; so I wanted more.
Last week, I sat down in a gardened courtyard at school and listened to Him speak.
(I didn't even finish my list! And I only shared a few.) As women our searching for love ends here.

He is sick with love for me (2:5)
I am His love, His beautiful one, His beloved (2:10)
I am His (2;16)
I am altogether beautiful (4:7)
I captivate His heart at the glance of my eyes (4:9)
I am a locked garden (4:12)
We're friends (5:16)
I am as awesome as an army (6:4)
I am as beautiful as the moon and as bright as the sun (6:10)
His desire is for me (7:10)

There is so much more to unveil than the mere 10 verses I shared. We are declared beautiful and loved and treasured over and over and over. It's repetitive, He wants us to know it.

My Bible verse is probably different from yours. Flip to Song of Solomon and let Him reveal to your heart who you are, and how He loves you. Use my list as a template and fill in the lines with what He tells you. Hold on to your hearts, ladies, it's a deep, sensitive, romantic time with the Man who loves you perfectly.

Together at Last

She flung herself onto Him, wrapping her arms around His neck.  Though He never spoke the words, with their faces close, and eyes closed, the words "I am all you need," radiated off of Him.

Together at last.

As they opened their eyes, smiles broke out across two overwhelmingly joyful faces.  "I thought this day would never come," she spoke in quiet excitment.  Releasing their embrace, He twirled her around saying, "I've been waiting for this moment since the day you were born."

She could feel as her eyes dance, "Really?"

With His charming smirk, He pretended to think about it for a second and answered, "Well, no.  Actually, I have been waiting to be with you since I made the moon.  Since the first time I rose flaming colors of gold, blue, and purple with the sun in the morning.  Since I let the words, 'It is finished' get caught up in the wind on the day of My death."

He wiped the two tears streaming down her face with the side of His gentle, strong thumb.  She couldn't fathom the reality of being here with Him.  The One she had loved to irrevocably before this moment, the One she had lived her small life for, the One that covered her in a love that wasn't found anywhere else.

The pure happiness overwhelmed Him as well as He took her back into His arms -- just as He did throughout her whole life on earth without her knowing.

The longing they had for each other during the wait made this moment difficult to take in, but it was very real.  Their love for each other was very real.

And now, they were together at last.

Walls

If you've ever watched a woman in pain, there's usually a similar scene always painted. When an embrace of comfort is offered, usually by a man, we fight it. We punch and shove and push and resist. We've been hurt before. We're stronger. We're over comers. We're here for, not ourselves, but others. This is done relentlessly.
Almost relentlessly.
Because there's always a breaking point. A point where the water is putting too much pressure on our walls. And a crack crawls through the stone. Our head falls on his shoulder. We try to hold up the walls, but the break grows, and the water flows in. Finally, we release on the only thing that resembles strength or a sturdy foundation. The water reaches our eyes. We fall, and suddenly... We're soft. We're tender hearted. We're usable, vulnerable, teachable.
This is where we're beautiful. This is where we were created for. This is where Jesus sweeps in and caresses our hearts. This is what no other man can offer. This is healing. This is surrender. This is hope. This is humility. This is love.

Waiting

Some Joplin jazz played while the AC's air made the room even colder than the chill that came from our conversation.  I crossed my legs, and took another sip of my carmel frappuccino; never letting my eyes revert from hers across the small circle table, as she let her soul spill from the deepest chambers within, out of her mouth, to me.

"I imagine a heart of glass being dropped onto a large mirror.  And after it shatters, and the pieces scatter, I see my reflection staring back tup at me.  It was my heart, and me who broke it.  The moment I believed him, I did the heart breaking myself."

Soaking it in, I sat straighter at the edge of my chair.  

She continued, "I settled, gave my heart to someone else because I was impatient.  I didn't wait.  Not for him."

The air shifted.  The AC turned off.  I was intrigued, "Who's that?"

"Him," she stated matter-a-factly, "The man who worships like David, is wise like Solomon, and brave like Jonathan.  The man who is obedient to God like Abraham and has faith like Joshua.  He who has Jesus as his closets friend, like Peter.  He who is willing to endure suffering to chase God and spread the gospel like Paul."

"I'm still waiting for him too..." I replied.  "I have found a man, however," I said as hope cast over her eyes, "who has given me flowers everyday -- along with fields, oceans, and sunrises.  I've found a man who deeply believes that I couldn't be more beautiful, and doesn't want to defile my purity.  I've found a man who died in following God wholeheartedly with bravery.  I've found a man stronger than anyone I have ever seen before, with a strength that cannot be beaten even by the grave.  I've found a man who has always loved me, and me alone, genuinely.  I've found a man who is relentlessly pursuing me, even while knowing the dark shadows of my heart.  I've found a man who has been waiting for me, ever so patiently and selflessly, since the day I was born; hoping with his whole being that I would one day fully love Him in return."

He's waiting for you too. 

Ladies, This is an Appeal

I think we're doing something wrong. Actually, I know we're doing a lot wrong. We know what we want, we know our way of getting it, and yet the execution of the plan doesn't unfold the way we had envisioned. We're not as high maintenance as people think! Our hearts aren't as complicated as made out to be. Hormones don't help our case, but I think we can agree that the needs of our hearts are few.

Here's the deal: We're walking around with broken hearts. And I know I'm not the only one who knows that it's not necessary and is avoidable. (I know, it sounds like some kind of female-code-blasphemy to imagine.)

We all know how much faster we mature than guys. We know. It's not a secret. And I find that as we follow Jesus and are in the Word, we slowly but surely learn what a Godly relationship is supposed to look like. And we want it. We want that husband that multiple authors of the Bible wrote about. So we look for that in the guys around us. This is where problems fly in like grenades, and with a rumbling explosion our hearts break. Now, I'm not picking on young men, they certainly make life... colorful. But they simply, for the most part, aren't where we are. (On the plus side, they kill bugs and are about 30% stronger than us.) Simply put, a lot of them aren't ready to want to be our Biblical hero husbands, and a lot of them simply don't have what we're searching for. YET. They're growing a few steps behind at this age. They catch up though, Jesus told me.

Now, here's the part you don't want to hear: We're growing still too. I resisted this for a while. I knew everything already, of course. But after we accept this, I find that so much more fulfillment and freedom will be found. The job of a guy's spiritual growth is in the hands of our God and their parents. We can't change em, ladies. And we're not supposed to. It's a humbling blessing if we do, but if we focused on planting ourselves in Christ and blossoming there, our hearts will be filled and comforted beyond the level any man could accomplish.

Trying to impress him with drugs, drinking, or sexual knowledge won't get him to love you forever. Experience in the sheets won't make him respect you more. If Cinderella could get her Prince Charming without taking her dress off, so can you. Swearing, listening to "cool" music, or taking him back after mistakes won't guarantee you a ring on that finger. If anything, you can count on them starting to talk to someone else after you give them all that at this point in their maturity.

So, what would this one stumbling but striving Christian teenage girl do? Keep your body in your clothes, and let some Scripture out. You'll weed out the losers from the winners in no time. Otherwise, it will be hard to do, and your heart will break more times than necessary. Most of us know guys are our weakness, and don't believe for a second that just because we're young Satan won't use that against, ya sister.

Unfortunately, Prince Charming doesn't ride up on a white horse when we sing enchantingly like in fairy tales. They're not that easy to find, especially today. But they're out there. When we follow Jesus, people who also want to live for Him, want a Godly relationship, and seek love forever will come into your life -- in God's perfect timing. And maybe, if you're lucky, one will even ride in on a white horse.

Pounding Nails

She lied. She sinned. Ultimately, she broke hearts. The pain could have been reaped for years if we had let it. I didn't think our friend ship would ever be the same. I found it essentially impossible to put trust in her words after viciously deceptive ones left that same mouth. Part of me would have rather not cared to try at all.

No matter how much I wanted to, forgiveness hardly appeared to be an option.

I was holding fast to a heart with clenched hands, suffocating it. I was what stood in its way of freedom. That breathless heart was mine. It was a captive to my fear of her lies that could resurface if I forgave her. Then I felt a whisper against my soul, what made me so much better than her? What made me the victim?

I thought of my Jesus, whom I claim to love. Putting work, chores, luxuries before Him -- at that I am an expert. I read my Bible and cross it off my to-do list like it's a burden. I find time for Him when He is always waiting expectantly for me to turn to Him, and always wanting one more sweet moment to spend with me. I wonder how many times a day I hurt His heart. I wonder how many times in my 16 years I have put pain in His eyes. I thought of all the times I had little affairs, choosing that song, task, word, or person before Him; just pounding that nail deeper into His hand.

Upon that I realized, finding forgiveness for her may not be so difficult after all.

The Fruits # 4: Love

This afternoon, I took some time to read through letters I wrote six years ago to my husband. A lot of things ran through me as I read those letters. Some of them were funny, didn't make sense, or were beyond cheesy. But sometimes, I would be surprised by my ten year old self. I would read something that stopped me in my tracks and I would need to take a second and re-read it. I was evidently in love with this man that I still haven't met.

Little girls imagine their husbands as one man short of Jesus. Surely he will be handsome, strong, talented, romantic, a leader, 100% dependable, funny, and the bestest best pal. We imagine him with a glow around his body, jealously fighting thousands for our affection. There is no greater dream than to find him and have him fall in love with us, and to spend our days loving him back.

I realized today that those little starry-eyed girls turn into teenage girls. And suddenly our future husbands look different. Our hormones often lead to heartache, and heartache leads to the destruction of the picture of our perfect men and that perfect love. We lose faith in the man we've been waiting for, and to some the idea of living to love him is no longer our such an ambition.

What is love? People seem to be all over the place on this. Thankfully, our Father who thinks of everything wrote the answer as clear as day saying, "This is how we know know what love is: Jesus laid down His life for us" (1 John 3:16). Basically, if you would lay down your life for someone, the odds are you love them. That should be how we determined such a thing. I'm a big believer in the saying "Love isn't a feeling, it's a choice". My professor last year tried to convince me that love wasn't real, but a blend of smells and chemical reactions. I'm no chemist, so I don't know much. But I do know that that feeling or reaction is what I like to call attraction, not love. I do know that that assumption on feelings is the reason why over half of U.S. marriages fail. I do know that I wouldn't be able to stay with a man for ever based off a happening of "chemical reactions".

For those girls wondering if love can be done, there's a second part to that verse I shared earlier, "And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters" (1John 3: 16). This is where I started to stumble. Because it's difficult. It's easy for me to say and honestly mean that I love someone, but acting like it is a challenge for me with my family and friends and fellow believers. What do we do that goes beyond what the 50% of Americans divorcees had done? We strive. We work. And we persist -- as Jesus did. We stop giving people pieces of our minds and more pieces of our hearts. We wake up every morning choosing to find ways to make each other feel loved. We have to love, it's a command -- so I vote we do it with stars in our eyes, just like when we were little girls.

“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.” - Noelle, age 6

“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” - Jessica, age 8

Letting Go

I was sitting in Mother Terea's Orphanage and Hospital for the Sick and Dying in Haiti a couple days ago, holding a baby boy who came to me wet. The room I was in was dark due to the lack of windows and electricity, and the crying of babies and desperate-to-comfort voices was all the filled the building audibly. As I sat on the bench, wondering what exactly caused this child's clothes to feel moist, I felt love tie a rope around my heart. In the heat, unescapable smells, and dire cries, I realized I wouldn't want to be anywhere else at that moment.

I came to the realization that nothing was more important. Holding that beautiful, skeleton-shaped baby was the most crucial thing I could have been doing. That's when I began thinking about people at home, what would they think? Why aren't there more people going into the nations? What could they choose over wanting to feel this love? Money, American houses, fast cars, security, safety? Those things sounded nice. They sounded comfortable. But with that baby in my arms, I knew that those things equated to nothing because of one simple fact: this is what Jesus did His whole life, letting every worldly thing go and living to love others.

I haven't accomplished that goal. I'm embarrassed by how selfish I am actually. But I pray often that my life will always be transforming to something more like Jesus'. That's why I can confidently tell others I would sing praises if God leads me to living in Haiti one day. It will not always be fun, or easy. I most likely will feel overwhelmed, lonely, amongst many other things -- I know this fully. However, nothing would make my soul sing more to live every moment of every day doing the most important thing in life, counting all else at a loss, and trying to love as Jesus loved.

What No One Has Ever Told You About Sex

No one ever straight up told me that I shouldn't have sex. It's a conclusion that I drew up before I was even a teenager. At thirteen I started wearing a ring and told Jesus I was His alone until my wedding night. Because my decision for purity was done so early on in my life, at sixteen I was left wondering much. Why does God want us to wait for marriage to have sex? Why does sex make things everything complicated? Why does it hurt outside of marriage? Why does it inevitably emotionally connect people like it does? I wanted answers. And you might too.

I probably have family and friends shaking in their boots right now wondering what the heck Elisabeth is going publicly to say about sex. I bought a book the other day called "What are You Waiting For?: The one thing no one ever tells you about sex" by Dannah Gresh. While I am reading this book, I will come here to share my findings and share my excitment towards answers about sex - the real kind.

I often read that verse in Genesis, "Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant," and thought "Okay, he was SO NOT just laying there." In Dannah's research for her book, she whipped out her Hebrew dictionary and looked up the Hebrew word for sex. The word was yada. This is were things only START to get interesting. What's the Hebrew definition for yada?

Yada

verb. to know, to be known, to be deeply respected

It is also used in verses like these, not just in sex scenarios:

17 And the LORD said to Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know [yada] you by name.” Exodus 33:17

10 He says, “Be still, and know [yada] that I am God Psalm 46:10

Amazingly, I think the first part of the definition is for women, the second for men. Dannah shares, "Almost every female I've spoken to about this admits that she really isn't yearning for physical touch in her sexual encounters, but is seeking deep emotional caressing. " Women like when when men know them. Beyond what color their eyes are or their favoroite ice cream flavor. They long for something deeper.

"The latter definition of yada - respect - tends to resonate with men. They want to know they have what it takes to receive your admiration," states Gresh. Are you surprised that God would design something so perfect and filling for both the man and woman? I'm not, and I'm overjoyed. Yada is obviously not just a physical act, but something that transcends the physical. At least, that's what sex is supposed to be.

Due to our unfortunate sin, there is another Hebrew word for sex used throughout the Bible. Shakab. This is only used in the Bible when sex is abused, for example in Genesis 19:33 when Lot's daughter gets him drunk and.. "lays" with him. This is not yada. Shakab is defined as (paraphrased) "the exchange of bodily fluids". Yeah, this doesn't sound as fun to me, and it is most definitely not God's sex.

Within yada two people can have total trust, transparency, devotion, and respect. I don't know about you, but when I have sex that's the kind that I want. Why does sex intertwine souls like it does? Come back in exactly a week for some more answers. (:

A Waiting Groom

The groom stands waiting for his bride. His heart pounds against his chest, and he is sure that everyone else in the room can hear it. He is anxious, and his face a little blushed as his eyes fix on the door she is supposed to walk through. Then she appears. Any breath he had in him before was stolen away by one look upon her face. She was stunning to him, and he wanted nothing more in the world. He has offered up his love to her, for everyone to see, giving her everything he had. All the was left was to see if she would take that isle down to him, to a live of love with no end.

Jesus gave me his life and wants me and my love above all else. He is waiting for you and me with an anxious heart. I will choose Him day after day. Will you?

Beyond the "I Do"

I believe in arranged marriages. And I don't believe in marrying for love.

My Father picked a boy for me to marry before the day I was born. I had no say in the matter. I was to grow into a woman, and this boy into a man before He would tell us that we were created for each other. To this day my Father refuses to tell me about my future husband, but I'm alright with that. I have a lot to learn before my Father introduces us to each other.

So you see, I won't marry a man because I love him. I don't believe that marrying for love is a good idea at all. To be blunt, I think it's a stupid thing to do. When I marry a man, it will be because I hear God telling me too; it will be because I know that our marriage will impact the world; it will be because I know that coming together as one would bring God all sorts of glory.

I was driving to class today when Andrew Peterson's song “Dancing in the Minefields” came on the radio. I was lost in the beautiful words and acoustic strumming when a realization tugged at my heart: Some where along the way, we created the conclusion that marriage was supposed to resemble a fairy tale couple riding a white horse into the sunset. Now, I'm not and have never been married, but from what I've been taught, that's not what marriage looks like – no matter how nauseatingly romantic your relationship is.

Where in the Bible does it ever say that marriage was easy and was created to make us feel happy, secure, or good about ourselves? No where. This is because marriage isn't for us, it's for our God who loves perfectly. We get to receive a glimpse of how He loves us through marriages; we get the beauty of love in our lives; and we find a forever friend. But marriages are supposed to be used as a man and woman coming together to serve God in ways that they couldn't serve Him apart from each other.

Obviously love and marriage go hand in hand. 1John 3:16 says, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.” Jesus' death for our sins was a love expressed through blood and tears and pain. Wow. Not exactly the heartwarming love we find in Disney movies. But you know, that's the only kind of love that I want. Even if I never meet a man who loves me like that, one man already has two thousand years ago, and still does to this day. That is why I praise my Father for arranging my marriage, why I will marry for more than love.

With Everything

Open our hearts,

To see the things

That make Your heart cry,

To be the church

The You would desire.

Light to be seen.

Break down our pride,

And all the walls

We've built up inside,

Our earthly crowns

And all our desires,

We lay at Your feet.

So let hope rise,

And darkness tremble

In Your holy light,

And every eye will see

Jesus, our God,

Great and mighty to be praised.

God of all days,

Glorious in all of Your ways.

Your majesty, the wonder and grace,

In the light of Your name.

With everything,

With everything,

We will shout for your glory.

With everything,

With everything,

We will shout forth your praise.

Our hearts will cry

Be glorified,

Be lifted high,

Above all names.

For You our King,

With everything,

We will shout forth your praise.

Where a Little Love is, Great Forgiveness Will Be

God re-taught to me a lesson of His forgiveness. His lesson unfolded in a way that I have never experienced before... I was recently given the opportunity either forgive or not forgive a friend. It was a rather new cross road to stand at for me. It was new, because in this case my friend didn't do anything to me or take nor give anything that was mine. This time, forgiveness didn't exactly mean I was okay with an offense done against me.

For me in the last few months, forgiveness meant that . . .

Our friendship was more to me than past choices.

Our friendship was worth more to me than "better" past preconceptions that I had created.

Our friendship needed to be put above my pride, because I'm not above my own sin.

This was difficult, and I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to do it. I couldn't just decide to forgive flippantly like I did to the woman who ran into me at the grocery store this morning.

God didn't like this. So during a church service in which handful of us shared our testimony of previous sin, He broke down the walls. He whispered to me how He forgave me of what I did to break His heart. He touched me with memories of what I have done that fractured our relationship. And in tears, I felt His embrace full of love and all of what love really means.

At that moment, I knew.

I knew that I had been molded, stretched like clay. I knew that I wanted to choose forgiveness. Because there's not a feeling quite like it to be able to say: "Even though now I know what you did, I've never cared for you more."

What's in a Love?

Someone asked me today in my psychology class if I thought love was real, and why. My answer?

I do believe in love. I believe in a God who is love. I believe that love is patient, kind; without envy, boasting, pride, dishonor, selfishness, anger; it rejoices in truth, while it always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres — as said in the well-known verses of Corinthians.

However, I also believe that the concept of love is over-used in cases that aren’t correct. I’m rather cynical, honestly, about that passage from Corinthians being used in weddings — because how many people really love like that? I have only met a few couples who come close with pure hearts. God does love like that, though! So, I know it’s true, and I know that He enables us to love like that. We just need to choose to. I know it’s not easy, for I don’t love perfectly.

I could talk about this forever. But I’ll hold back for tonight.

I do believe in love. My heart knows without a doubt that love is real. I was weaved together out of perfect love. Love runs throughout my veins, my soul, my existence. His love does. I am a part of this Great Romance that takes me by the hand and twirls me around, never to be the same.

On Maintaining a Godly Relationship

I've been a writing fool lately. Evidently, I mean this in a private pen-and-journal way, seeing as on here I'v had little to say. I've decided, though, that I can't let the opinion of others hinder what I want to write here in public. With that, here we go...

Yesterday, I wrote an entry titled "Things to do to Maintain a Godly Relationship". I started out writing it in the hopes of if my sons and daughters one day were interested in having a Godly relationship, they could read it and have their 15 year-old mom talk to them, rather than the mom who yells at them to clean their room. This is something God's been speaking to me a lot about lately; it's something that He's continuing to teach me right now. The more I learn, the more I want to share. So here it is, take it or leave it. (:

~ Don't be a afraid to pray and worship God freely around each other. This is an issue that I know happens between teen Christians. I've faced the choice before, worrying for some reason that my being too bold would freak guys out. Honestly, the way I see it, there's nothing hotter than a guy completely in love with Jesus. And if the guy you're interested in is going to have Godly potential, he should evaluate you the same way.

~ Be true to you. God made you, and God made a partner for you who is going to love every little bit and thing about you. Therefore, don't act like someone you're not to impress a guy. Embrace all the little things that make you who you are, and let him fall fast and hard for the true you.

~ Sex. (Yes, I said the "S" word.) We all know the Bible says to abstain from sex until a couple is married, to remain pure. So where's the invisible line between pure and impure? The question isn't "how far can I go without having sex?". The real question should be "how far do I go before my thoughts become impure?". (Philippians 4:18) Bluntly put, if holding your girlfriend's hand leads you to picturing her naked, don't hold her hand. It's that simple.

Also, don't be afraid to act purely. Be proud that that you're obeying God, that you're waiting for your husband/wife, that you will one day share that perfect moment with your spouse. Virgins are sexy.

~ Grow in God together. Pray about each and every step in your relationship before you take it. Before each decision, each date, each promise. Constantly evaluate things, filtering it through God and His Word. Share with each other what God is doing in your heart and your life, even if it has nothing to do with your relationship. Encourage each other to do God's Will in their lives. Say His name, quote His word, there can't be too much Jesus -- especially in a teen romantic relationship. When you think you've referred to Jesus too many times, say His name again.

Chosen: A Girl's Midnight Monologue

I wrote this last August, but I'm feeling it's necessary again on this Autumn day.

Ironic, how being yourself is possibly the most difficult thing one can do. Being satisfied. Being proud. Feeling like you could possibly measure up. To expectations. To those around you.

How does one do it? Is it possible -- or even plausible -- to trust... in the breaking of a new day; to trust in a day of mindless prayers, old pajamas, classes, school, books, paper; a TV, a remote, sitting -- just sitting!; a camera, lens, the shutter sounds; the piano bellows, it sings with its keys, fingers dancing, the vioce straining. There's a smile, there's a fight, a laugh, then a tear. And the days repeat, overlap. An occasional "hello" is followed, always, with a "goodbye".

Is this was it means? To be lovely or beautiful or wonderful? I don't believe so. If it is, I want nothing to do with any of it.

How can you possibly compare with THAT? How will you even attempt?... I couldn't... I can't...

I can only be m--

Thats when you realize. Love... Love is so much bigger than yourself... It is not "in my heart." Love is out-of-body. It is not something you achieve alone, you're not made to! Love isn't because you were good enough, it's because you were chosen (for whatever reason). CHOSEN. You were the gorgeous Lily in a field of white Daisies. In other words, the child touched you and yelled "goose!" while all the other kids were sitting ducks. Love is as wildly untame as the stallions and as miraculously free as the birds. Don't capture it by giving it a labled box. Don't hold it, don't claim it, don't own it... Bask and grow in it, because Love picked you, after you caught its eye and captivated it with one thing: yourself.

Photo from weheartit.com

Invitation (5.27.10)

a new day
and the first thing I hear is his voice
whispering, calling, "awake, bride."
that is when I see him,
sporting a smirk upon the opening
of my green eyes.
and my heart melts, for he is Love.

i cant help but remember
how he saved me,
how he rode in, my brave knight,
with valor, delivering me from myself;
slaying my death with his own
and, with his faithful strength, returning to me.

as I lay there, admiring the delight
that's dancing on his face
I know that this hero of mine
has a plan.
extending his handsome, scarred hand
he leans in and whispers,
"run away with me..."

so we descend from the window,
because he only fabricates
plans of adventure and worth.
i feel no need to fear the possible fall
for he has kept me safe
in caressing hands
and vows to do so for always.

when our feet meet the ground,
we run through
cool green grass with our
heads thrown back in laughter.
upon reaching the wildflowers
and still waters, I know we have
arrived.

he sits me down in meadow,
then joins me.
with gentle fingers
tucking a red flower behind my ear.
he sees me stainless, pure, and lovely.
his eyes have yet to leave my face.
"you're beautiful to me."

the grass, the breeze in my hair, the sun kissing our faces.
as we lay there, I trust this is forever.
this is life, this is Love; making my
world a fairytale. and this I know: he'll ask me every morning to share
the day together as his Beloved.

Written by myself while I was in Italy this summer. I thought it was a very romantic place. I believe Jesus must have thought so too, because of all His wooing.