Living Melodies

I am the instrument, and God the musician
I cannot play, cannot make beautiful music alone
What sounds do I make, what notes do I portray
The melody is there, but I'm useless without Your hands

Wondering which strings my heart strum
What keys do my actions press
How do my feet dance on the drums
May my life play an angelic song

I cry out loud with a prayer fierce with longing
To make music the way You once did
Two thousand years ago, far out across the sea
Perhaps the longing enhances my voice for You

Tune me and play me
The instrument is nothing without its Musician
Lend me Your ears, let me hear my song
So I can re-write it, to make You dance


elisabethhuijskens
april 15, 2009

Inspriation: 2Timothy 2:21 ~ "If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work."

My Theme Song...

Lately, I have have been struggling with struggles that can seem extremely pathetic in comparison to most burdens. For me, they have been weighing me down, keeping me from a happiness I once felt and yearned to feel once more. Music has been a refuge in all my seasons, a different handful of songs for a different season - most of which are worship songs, for there I find a more reliable strength. After singing "Desert Song" by Jill McCloghry and Brooke Fraser (one of my favorite worship leaders) at church this morning, I feel I have started a new and brighter season. I have heard this song before, but God answered my prayers today in giving me this song. Nothing can show the extent of my gratitude.. So, I'll simply sing the song that He has so graciously spoken to me through...

Here is a video of Jill McCloghry, who sings "Desert Song" with Brooke Fraser. It is a truly moving video and helped me so incredibly much when I was stumbling, trying to get back on my feet... I hope it does the same for you...

Are you crying? (; I now have a whole different perspective on how important it is to praise God through EVERYTHING.

And so begins my new season...

My Heart in Words

The Lord exposes to my heart His works through seasons. For the past three years, every March, due to lease agreements and the Will of God, my family and I move to a new house and attempt once again to transform it into a home. God saw it fit (for some reason) to continue the pattern again this year, this March. Now. I see how each house in the past years have brought me new growth. I see the lessons that come from each season and in return I harbor mixed feelings....

~I think of the good times and miss them so much it hurts. Then again, what good would it do to relive them? They have been lived, they are done, they are perfect, they are beautiful memories. All I do now is hold on to them, but seeing as that is all I can do anyway, it does more than suffice. So, I just smile.

~I think of the embarrassing times and wish I could redo them. Then again, I would have not gained the wisdom and knowledge that I received while reaching my hand to Jesus' loving out-stretched arm. I would not be the young lady that I am today. So, I bask in my life experiences.

~I think of all the hardships and burdens and cry out to the Lord, asking why He would do that to me, why He would change things when they were just perfect. Then again, I realize all the strength I have gained and how it just creates intimacy between Him and I. So, I feel safe.

~I think of the unknown that lies ahead and I'm afraid. Then again, I know that whatever happens I have a God who loves me unconditionally and irrevocably. Everything He does in my life is out of love for me. I have friends and family who will be there and helping me, even if I don't admit to it all of the time and they have no idea. So, I see brightness.

I am extremely excited to leave in this house the bad and troubling memories (though taking the lessons gained) and bring the good memories with me. I hope that this "newness" I am about to leap into will only bring healing.

As I'm sure many of you can relate, the changing of seasons and motions can be vicious and at times cause physical pain to the soul. I don't want to move again. But I am. We can't always control the seasons, but that's most likely a good thing. I have been relying on God's sovereignty. Although that's really all I have to rely on anyway.

My first house in Florida brought me pure growth as far as nearing myself to Jesus.

My second house in Florida (the one I am currently moving out of), however brought multiple life lessons. There was a lesson on Redemption, where I lived in my Bible and prayed constantly, I felt as if my mind as almost one with His as my Father took me back. There was a lesson on Thanksgiving, where the world felt perfect and I knew that He deserved never-ending praise because of it. There was a lesson on Patients, where I had to learn to live life happy and to the fullest as I waited for what I wanted. Then came the most brutal: my lesson on Dependence, here I had to learn to depend solely on Him while He moved some things around in my life. Now, my final lesson from this house, would have to be Acceptance. I think now, while writing this post, I have finally accepted the happenings of my life. I am bringing back optimism.

I am amazed at how much better I feel after letting go of my thoughts. I thank you sincerely for listening to them, as a real friend would.... I love the God who I can trust in and fully believe that everything will be ok.

"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living." - Gail Sheehy

When I say "I am a Christian"

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I 'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!

~~Carol Wimmer

Could be Worse, Could be Tanzania

I find my self in a very particular, and for me odd, spot lately where it is easy to say, "my life is messed up". Things I want, I can't have. Things I want to see happen, aren't happening. The burdens I want lifted - be it the burdens of my own or a loved one's, do not rise. I think things are bad, ruined - but really they are not! I only think that because the happenings as of late are inferior to what I want. The unfolding of my life now, at this second, my emotions and longings, its where God wants me and my life to be. That's how I take comfort. A little bit.

Psalm 33:11 ~ "But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations". God, thank you for being the ever powerful and Sovereign Lord that you are. Thank you for embracing your children when they are lost and confused. Help us to remember that your hand is upon us, that you never abandon your faithful ones. Once again it is my prayer, as is forever, that you will make your Will clear to my eyes which are stained by the sin of the world. Please, grant me the smallest bit of understanding as you work your wonders and miracles in my life and in the lives intertwined with mine. Thank you. I love you. In your loving Name I pray. Amen.

I know that my days are not really bad, its just not what I want and that's stupid to let aggravate me. I have a good life. My family, my friends, and I are all healthy. I live in a great house, have easy access to food, ect. I listened to Alli Roger's song "Tanzania" and had a change of heart...

I need not sing, "Someday I will wake where the Earth is clean and safe; where my children have a place to play. Not here in Tanzania. And someday I will in a house that build by hands that hold the world".... I need not sing how its, "hard to be a mother, and its hard to be a woman, and its hard to live in Africa sometimes".

I've been to these places. I know Haiti. I have touched the hands that are attached a mourning and troubled soul. My soul is not worthy to be proclaimed as a soul that mourns compared to those who I am referring to now. I have a great life, full of things and people that I love and for some reason they love me in return.

Now, I move on through life, one foot in front of the other. I think of the Serenity Prayer, one of my favorite, "trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will". And that's where I find comfort, in my marvelously and eternally Sovereign God.

When I Leave...

I look back at my old posts, but they don't feel like mine. I read them like a different girl, a different soul wrote them. I laugh at all the ridiculous grammatical mistakes, I smile at all the memories, and I wish I could have them back.

Sometimes we get caught up in the seasons. Our eyes are shifted from Jesus' face, where we vowed to fix them. We make that vow when the season is easy, when everything is ok. Its funny how its when the season brings storms that we turn our hearts to Earthly things. We need to remember that we're living. This is when we make our moments, in this blink of an eye that we call life. "Your life is the song that you sing, and the whole wide world is listening" - Matthew West. How are others seeing you? What really matters: how is God seeing you? We can easily mess our days up, but our days are what sew together our lives.

Then I think of the moments I have left, what I want to say and do in those moments.

What I want the world to be like when I leave.

Whom will I have helped?

What live will I change?

How will they remember me?

Will they miss me when I'm gone?

Essentially, I wonder what God has planned for me before I leave. I don't know what the play-by-play of the rest of my life is. He does, though. That's exciting! He knows if or, which of my plans for life with unfold like I think they will, and he knows the ones that will simply not happen. Its an enormous relief to know that someone knows what will happen. I hate not knowing, but I'd rather have Him in control anyway.

What's even more amazing is that He knows how the events of my life, lived already or not, will weave my part to this world. Most of us have wondered, "How will they remember me?". I contemplate. I wonder. I ponder. I hope for amazing memories, filled with nothing but love that mirrors Jesus Christ's. But that will take some work. (:

This is my heart...

Am I too busy chasing a temporary fortune

That my priorities get lost along the road

The seasons bring their moments

They linger for an instant

They never wait for you to pay the debts you owe

When I leave I want to leave a memory filled with love

The kind you don't forget

When I go I want to be known

As one who lived with no regrets

If life is like a flower

Am I doing all that's in my power

To leave a fragrance behind

It's time to count my blessings

Forget about my savings account for a while

I want them to say

What a glorious day

She had so much to gain

But she gave it away

And I want them to see something different in me

And that I'm going to be free

Some glad morning when this life is over

I'll fly away

To a home on God's celestial shore

I'll fly away

When I leave I want to leave a memory...

~JJ Heller

Reckless Christian

-Romans 15:20- It has always been my ambition to preach the gospel where Christ was not known, so that I would not be building on someone else's foundation.

I realize I have been missing in Blogland for while. I just haven't had anything to share or say. I wondered why that is. I came to the conclusion that I mostly post about my active love in Haiti or my active relationship with Christ. I haven't been to Haiti in a while.. so, does that mean that I haven't been so active in my Walk? I was determined to get to the bottom of this. I began to rummage through my old posts. I made it to last April to my Ambition post, and realized I haven't been taking my own advise. I haven't been ambitious. Therefore I have had nothing to say.

As Christians need to stand out. How will we get the message out to others? It will only be our own fault if no one discovers the Name of Jesus Christ. We need to be different – different in a noticeable way, or we will have no effect. Our generation needs to leave a mark or we are not bearing fruit so we cannot multiply as the Lord has asked of us. People need Christians – bold Christians to show them that there is hope and strength, but it only lies in the Hands of a True Savior. We need to get over ourselves, stop worrying if we will look like a fool if we say we love Jesus. Because, we are fools, but He loves us anyway. Christians need to be the hand reaching out to those in need, an imitation of Jesus’ hand. We “must go on loving and loving and giving and giving until it hurts – the way Jesus did. Do ordinary things with extraordinary love.” [Mother Teresa]

And what's worse... "the ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire." Luke 3:9. In Matthew 10 Christ already gives us the ok to go and spread the word. He said GO! So, lets go and never stop.

We need to, first, die so we can live for and in Him. Second, breathe in His Word so we know what He wants us to do now that we're alive. And, three, be loud. We need to be reckless and then people will see we're different. Then people will see that there's hope in a Savior, and every one of us needs a Savior to get by in this world populated with sinners.