Me, Myself and I

For Miss Cara Green:
i am: your sister under our god!!
i think: optimistically, for i know that god only lets things that will benefit us in the future happen, even if its hard to get through at the time
i know: my future is locked in eternity.
i want: little voices yelling "Leesabet, Lessabet" in their little Haitian accents
i have: more than i want
i wish: that my classmates listened when i gave an abortion speech the other day, and that they believed me when i said God made them for a reason & they can't be replaced
i hate: what?! god calls us to love all not hate... this is something i have not accomplished.
i miss: Haiti
i fear: roller coasters
i feel: smile-y :) and yes that is a word... as of now.
i hear: the Bethany Dillon & Matt Hammit CD playing (awesome CD by the way).
i smell: Mia's thick hair product (i just gave another attempt at her hair)
i crave: the smell of rice, beans, sweat, baby powder and burning trash (oh, the smells of Haiti). i crave Haiti's love and gratitude for god and their hope and optimism for the future
i search: god's will
i wonder: what His plan is for me and those around me
i regret: (the list is long).
i love: god, Haiti, chocolate, the rain, family, friends, my church and all it's awesome rockin' people!!
i ache: when others ache
i care: for many, and a lot of them don't know it
i always: want it to be Sunday, so i can go to church or Wednesday, so i can go to my youth group
i am not: "going green", sorry
i believe: i have a place in Heaven & that music should never be turned down!!
i dance: like I've never seen someone dance :(
i sing: in the car/ in the shower/ at church (its quite a scene)
i cry: when i see the stupid plane on the tarmac in Haiti, the one that is going to take me back to the US
i don't always: live as a christian should
i fight: until i win the battle... unless i get tired -or hungry! ;)
i write: when i have something on my mind... which is all the time
i never: want to leave church or our youth group
i listen: never, i'm a horrible listener unless i enjoy what people are talking about
i need: Jesus
i am happy about: what God has done for me, through me, and what He holds for me in the future

if you haven't played the game yet, it would please me abundantly (don't count on me saying that again) if you would.

AMBITION...

…because the world makes way for those ready to just GO!

Matthew 10:5-20: These twelve Jesus sent out with the following instructions: "Do not go among the Gentiles or enter any town of the Samaritans. GO rather to the lost sheep of Israel. As you go, preach this message: 'The kingdom of heaven is near.' Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, & drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give. Do not take along any gold or silver or copper in your belts; take no bag for the journey, or extra tunic, or sandals or a staff; for the worker is worth his keep.

"Whatever town or village you enter, search for some worthy person there and stay at his house until you leave. As you enter the home, give it your greeting. If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town. I tell you the truth; it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town. I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.

"Be on your guard against men; they will hand you over to the local councils and flog you in their synagogues. On my account you will be brought before governors and kings as witnesses to them and to the Gentiles. But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.”

He is speaking not only to those twelve but, to you, as well. I’m not sure of all the exact people who will read this but, this applies to every human He shall make with Him Hands.

Why did I highlight, underline and bold the word ‘go’?? Well, does Jesus say "think, pray, ponder, hesitate, and ponder some more… and then you go". No. He wants us to bear fruit and to multiply. He just says GO! Does that mean praying is bad? No, He tells us to pray countless times in the Bible. However, we shouldn't let praying slow you down. And if you trust in Him and obey what He is saying and just GO you don't have to worry, because He also says the Holy Spirit’s got ya covered. All will turn out for everyone’s benefit. He has given you a personalized gift (a secret weapon), made just for you and your future to glorify His precious name. And yes, I can say that to those who I have yet to meet and to those whom I have met, because this applies to everyone.

When i stand in crowds, I have the knowledge that people around me are hurting. I want so badly to help them. Because if we were all just hanging out and didn't have a purpose to be out in town and everyone wasn't rushing around, i would love to reach into their souls and help them, because we all have spiritual needs, some not as urgent as others. But all needs are as important to God. All you'd have to do is listen to them and then tell them of Jesus, because, think about it: everything in your life come down to Jesus.. He saved you, changed your life, He's always with you and in you. There are people out there right now needing to hear your testimony, and needing to hear of Jesus.

-Proverbs 3:27-Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act.

-Isaiah 6:8- And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

-1Corinthians 14:1- Follow the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophecy.

-Romans 15:20- It has always been my ambition to preach the gospel where Christ was not known, so that I would not be building on someone else's foundation.

-Luke 1:38- "I am the Lord's servant... may it be done to me as you have said"

On Wednesday i gave my friend, Taylor, a Bible. It was the coolest feeling. She really wanted it, and kept on pushing me to bring it to her. Its not that i didn't want to, i just continued to forget. :) She thought it was beautiful and thanked me over and over. Even, a few hugs were thrown around. But the best part was when she wrote her name on the first page and then asked me to write my name too.

Also, I had the most amazing experience around a month ago. Cara Boone and her husband, Kevin, asked me be to be a “guest speaker” (thats an overstatement, it was much more casual than that) at a girls retreat from the youth group their family leads. It was such a moving experience! I got to give my testimony, which of course involved Haiti (my favorite subject). I loved being able to talk about God and the miracles He has done in my life. I loved expressing the need Haiti has, and giving someone new the chance to impact one more person’s life. I felt like I was making a difference. I loved the rush of stepping out of my comfort zone and the rush of being ambitious. I also loved hanging out with some pretty awesome girls at a beach house. :)

I’ll never be the same, I can never go back. It’s all forward from here. More people are out there in the world just awaiting ambitious people to lead them to Christ. And it is our job as Christians to be ambitious, to multiply our fruits. If I could tell the world I would (it’s good this is called the World Wide Web). Don't take my words lightly, you could make a huge impact on some one's life. Please, help me spread the word, just one word. Help me to tell everyone to just... GO!

"My sole purpose in life is that when i go to Heaven, I'll bring as many people as I can with me" -Terri Blackstock

Isaiah Daniel

oh sweet, sweet daniel. one thing that hit me when i saw him was how much different he looks! you'd think i was gone years instead of months! i was expecting a sweet little baby boy that loves to sleep all the time. but i found this tinned out boy, who still sleeps, but looks a lot different doing it. same daniel, different face. the same sweetness and love inside him.

another thing that i noticed, was something i noticed since i met him. and that is the rare way he begs to be held. he shows this want differently than all the other kids. he won't hold a grudge like alixson, but that doesn't mean that he wants to be held any less. like i said that last time i blogged about daniel, you can feel appreciation from this baby when you hold him. he's content when you hold him and doesn't always whine when you put him down. That makes holding him all the merrier!!

Be Still and know that He is God

ok, i'm not going to go into detail about my feelings on the riots going on right now in Haiti for if i did, i might go into a nervous breakdown. but i thought i would share with you something that i found comforting. God tells us not to worry 365 times in the bible. i told this to Kathy the other day and she pointed out something very significant. if the Lord tells us to "fear not" 365 times, thats one time for each day!! ya think He's trying to tell us something??

Some Stuff from my Favorite Book

1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness

Ezra 9:6 - O my God, I am too ashamed and disgraced to lift up my face to you, my God, because our sins are higher than our heads and our guilt has reached to the Heavens.

Nehemiah 1:5-7 - O Lord, God of Heavens, the great and awesome God, who keeps His covenant of love with those who love Him and obey His commands, let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night ...I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself, have committed against you. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws you gave your servant Moses.

Matthew 19:26 - Jesus looked at them and said 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible'.

Mark 11:22-24 - Have faith in God. I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, "Go throw yourself into the sea", and has no doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done or him. Therefore i tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

Well, i have been living in my Bible. Almost every time i open it now, i tell myself I'm only going to read a verse or two but that turns into an hour.

That 1John verse comes with a really cool story:
Wednesday night I was at my friends' house for youth group. Certain verses were being asked to be found and they would be read out loud in a few minutes. Mark Something or Other was asked to be found, but before i could yell, "I got it", the guy sitting next to me found it first. Then another verse was asked to be found, evidently the guy sitting behind me found it first. Then 1John was asked to be found, and before i even tried to look for it i yelled, "Called it!". But then when I began to look for it, I realized that I was so excited that I didn't even listen to what verse it was. So i asked what it was. 1John -somethin' or other- , okay cool. So I look for it again. But my excitement was so loud that i couldn't hear what chapter or verse, i ask again. I got an answer of Chapter 1, verse 9, and my quest began again. I found it, bookmarked it, highlighted it, all without reading it. My friend Matt sitting across the room asked, "Still got it?". "Yeah, thanks, still got it", I reply going along with our usual sarcastic bit. But then the doorbell rings and in comes my mother. Dad was out of town and she needed to get the kids in bed. So, reluctantly, i gave hugs and left. After youth group I always feel refreshed and purified by hanging out with some of my favorite and most amazing people and by praising God together, so on the ride home I belted out songs along with the worship CD that was playing. When I got home I went to my room and, out of pure curiosity, read the verse that I tried so hard to get and never got to read. And WHOA! - these were the words I so desperately needed to see. I felt like someone smaked me across the face, for this verse, out of all the others, was the one I got assigned. This was the reason why I missed the first two verses that were called. I read the verse over and over again, each time the voice of God becoming more clear in my ears.