The minute i stepped out of the plane i wasn't just in Haiti. nope. i was in the land of the palm trees, clear beaches, tap taps, Haitian B.O., Akon-fanatics, rice, beans, trash, goats, hair wraps, little hands, dirty feet, and abundant love. and this land that i speak of is my favorite.
i was quiet on the drive from the airport. i always am. i like to embrace the very second i get to pass through and be a small part in each pedestrian's life. When they turn to see who is in the van that drives by, they can see my face -depending on which side they're standing on. and that's my little time spent in that person's life. i'm not making a difference, none of them even remember me. but its as close as i can get to that Haitian, as close to telling them that 'i want to devote my life to helping them' as i am going to get. it is fortunate, however, that i have a few options to get closer while working at the clinic, while at the orphanage and hopefully many more options in the future.
i left my scrubs in the US this time. but i did get to put calimine lotion on the kids with chicken pox. however, this gave me more time to love on the kids. after i got back from Haiti in July i did posts on each of them. but only the kids i really got close to. but with my clinic-free time i grew closer to all of them. (many post on kiddos are coming)!
the tears came the minute i woke up on Feb. 27th. i pulled it together and was proud that i didn't cry in front of the kids. i think the tears were easier to control because now i see that i don't have to wait 2 years between each trip, like i did between my first 2. now i learned, as the kids are beginning to do, that i do come back. i do return. but when we stepped out side of the airport to board the plane, the pesky tears reluctantly returned. it was the plane itself that made me cry. the plane. my traitor. it is the plane physically pulling me away from Haiti. it seemed to be laughing at me. it was mean. i felt like i was 4 and someone took my Barbie away. but i'm sure i'll forgive it before it takes me back to Haiti. :)
now, the mourning continues but summer is just around the corner. summer, unlike the plane, helps me toward Haiti by giving me plenty of time to return. no school, its a care-free time, Haiti time.
"It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light."
-not quite sure who said that one, but he/she is stinkin' smart.
well, we survived a week... well, to an extent.
i was quiet on the drive from the airport. i always am. i like to embrace the very second i get to pass through and be a small part in each pedestrian's life. When they turn to see who is in the van that drives by, they can see my face -depending on which side they're standing on. and that's my little time spent in that person's life. i'm not making a difference, none of them even remember me. but its as close as i can get to that Haitian, as close to telling them that 'i want to devote my life to helping them' as i am going to get. it is fortunate, however, that i have a few options to get closer while working at the clinic, while at the orphanage and hopefully many more options in the future.
i left my scrubs in the US this time. but i did get to put calimine lotion on the kids with chicken pox. however, this gave me more time to love on the kids. after i got back from Haiti in July i did posts on each of them. but only the kids i really got close to. but with my clinic-free time i grew closer to all of them. (many post on kiddos are coming)!
the tears came the minute i woke up on Feb. 27th. i pulled it together and was proud that i didn't cry in front of the kids. i think the tears were easier to control because now i see that i don't have to wait 2 years between each trip, like i did between my first 2. now i learned, as the kids are beginning to do, that i do come back. i do return. but when we stepped out side of the airport to board the plane, the pesky tears reluctantly returned. it was the plane itself that made me cry. the plane. my traitor. it is the plane physically pulling me away from Haiti. it seemed to be laughing at me. it was mean. i felt like i was 4 and someone took my Barbie away. but i'm sure i'll forgive it before it takes me back to Haiti. :)
now, the mourning continues but summer is just around the corner. summer, unlike the plane, helps me toward Haiti by giving me plenty of time to return. no school, its a care-free time, Haiti time.
"It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light."
-not quite sure who said that one, but he/she is stinkin' smart.
well, we survived a week... well, to an extent.
10 comments:
Wow. You explained the van ride perfectly. I do the same thing but have never put the feeling into words. Beautiful description. I too mourn and can't wait to return.
i hate that plane too! i cried so much this last time. but i LOVE, i love when it lands once again on that only open stretch in all of port au prince. the only place where you can get a good look at your surroundings. the only place where you aren't totally walled in. i love walking down the steps to the tarmac. i love the wind pushing me inside. i love knowing soon i'll be home!
Sounds like you left a piece of your heart there!
Lizzie, Wonderful way to tell where your heart is. Looking forward to your children posts!
O Lizzie, I love you! Getting on that plane is so so hard. It's also hard having such a long layover knowing that right down the hall there are people leaving to go to your home and you can't go with them. I am mourning with you.
That darn plane. It's a love/hate relationship really. Love that it takes me to the place my heart longs to be... hate the flood of grief and sadness that overcomes me when I have to board it to leave.
You are a gifted and talented writer, Lizzie! Really, really talented. Thank you for sharing!
See you Friday!
the leaving is never easy. but you're right, the knowing you'll be back soon does make it a little easier. gives you something to look forward to!
NO ONE TOLD ME I WAS SPELLING AIRPLANE LIKE THE ADJECTIVE PLAIN?! UGH. I JUST NOWS NOTICED THAT. Oh well...
Thanks guys, really!!
I love the pushy wind too, you-you!
Lizzie~ It's been great watching you grow over the past 3 years. You are amazing young woman with a passion for Haiti that some people will not understand. You will be back many times I'm sure! And each time you will leave a small piece of you behind. And someday... who knows... maybe you will be staying for good!
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