Letting Go

I was sitting in Mother Terea's Orphanage and Hospital for the Sick and Dying in Haiti a couple days ago, holding a baby boy who came to me wet. The room I was in was dark due to the lack of windows and electricity, and the crying of babies and desperate-to-comfort voices was all the filled the building audibly. As I sat on the bench, wondering what exactly caused this child's clothes to feel moist, I felt love tie a rope around my heart. In the heat, unescapable smells, and dire cries, I realized I wouldn't want to be anywhere else at that moment.

I came to the realization that nothing was more important. Holding that beautiful, skeleton-shaped baby was the most crucial thing I could have been doing. That's when I began thinking about people at home, what would they think? Why aren't there more people going into the nations? What could they choose over wanting to feel this love? Money, American houses, fast cars, security, safety? Those things sounded nice. They sounded comfortable. But with that baby in my arms, I knew that those things equated to nothing because of one simple fact: this is what Jesus did His whole life, letting every worldly thing go and living to love others.

I haven't accomplished that goal. I'm embarrassed by how selfish I am actually. But I pray often that my life will always be transforming to something more like Jesus'. That's why I can confidently tell others I would sing praises if God leads me to living in Haiti one day. It will not always be fun, or easy. I most likely will feel overwhelmed, lonely, amongst many other things -- I know this fully. However, nothing would make my soul sing more to live every moment of every day doing the most important thing in life, counting all else at a loss, and trying to love as Jesus loved.