I'll live

You know you're in a predicament when after a while the only thing people can say back to you is, "Wow, I'm so sorry," and roll their eyes (of course, you're not supposed to see the eye rolling part).

I'm finding it difficult to come to terms with the fact that people fall out of our lives. I've been trying to push the many situations of people just leaving, out of my mind. I could blame it on the fact that I don't like it when life changes, but I won't. I'm taking full blame for being selfish and stubborn.

I know I'm not the only one feeling this way.

... Or maybe I know no such thing. Maybe I am the only one out there who wants the people she loves in her life to stay there and never find new friends, or never move, or never choose people over her.

But I doubt it.

I do know that I can handle it better than I do. I don't have to fall into the traps of jealously from knowing that everyone's fine and I clearly haven't moved on.

It's a problem, but I know I'll live.

I know in most of these situations God wills them to leave. I know then, it is supposed to be that way. I know that I should be happy for them, but sadly it's hard, even when I see a remarkably positive difference in them.

But I know... My college professor will assign another creative writing essay, and I'll engross myself in words, thesauruses (yes, plural), and caffeine. I'll surround myself with my wonderful, loving friends. Experiment with my music. Loose myself in a book. Wrap myself up in the coming winter season.

I'll live.